ENG215 Research & Writing on Lo'Real Ells Assignment Help
Instructions: Your final draft should reflect the work you have done to develop your ideas, identify counter perspectives, gather credible research, and draft your essay. You will use feedback from your instructor to review, revise, and edit your draft to ensure that you submit your best work.
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Authoritarian parents can create the illusion that what they're doing is working. Being an authoritarian parent makes disagreements easy to deal with. Any objections are just silenced. The downside is parents won't know what their children are thinking or feeling. The kids are trained to act as their told and to keep silent about their feelings. But the kids are better behaved - they put on a better show for other parents. One problem is that when not around their parents, kids can either be angels because they're terrified of doing anything wrong or devils because they've learned to be stealthy. The devil children have learned that the difference between wrong and right is whether you get caught or not.
It's been commented that children with authoritarian parents tend to look like they're incredibly well behaved much younger, although that is out of pure fear, and they quickly learn that the important thing is not what you do, but whether you get caught. Although if the authoritarian parent does a good enough job of crushing the child's will early, they will be "good" even when the parents aren't around (Nickerson, 3).
In authoritative parenting, the children obey and they do not have to go into further discussions or reason themselves; pretty much a typical authoritarian parent sounds like "I'm your parent and you have to listen to me". Most discussions and arguments end this way because the child doesn't suppose to argue you anyway (Oesterreich, 1).
We see a lot of children with authoritative parenting having good scores at school (not saying that other kids not parented this way don't, but usually the first are taught to respect parents, school/study etc.). Good grades don't necessarily make you happier in life, start valuing other people's opinion too much-you get pride more from your teacher saying you did your test the best in the class than from what you are actually capable of. This is a bit limiting and misleading (Jiang, 2). Finally, when these kids grow up, they can't really truly think for themselves. At home everything was based on reward and punishment system-when they get out in the real world, no one is there to tell them what is wrong or right and they haven't been really trained to think with their own head (Steinberg, 4).
Rulemaking is when parents teach to follow rules and not think for yourself. They provide rules which are supposed to cover every situation but inevitably don't. Usually, the rules are found in religious texts (Steinberg, 4). Basically, they teach you to follow the rules instead of trying to figure out for yourself what the best course of action is and why.
The problem with this is that inevitably, we will run into situations that aren't covered by the rules, and we will be unequipped to figure out what to do in such situations. Another problem is that rules are often based on bad data, and when correct data comes out, you have a hard time changing rules, because the rules are supposed to be infallible. Rules are not flexible, and indeed, authoritarian parents don't want flexibility (Jiang, 2).
Rigidity can also cause a lot of problems, again because life has this way of throwing unexpected problems at us. If you follow a rigid rule system, you simply get lost and can't figure out how to respond when the rules don't cover the situation. I believe in teaching kids to be flexible and to improvise (Nickerson, 3). This means letting them have the freedom to make their own decisions -- and their own mistakes -- without beating them up for mistakes. You have to give them freedom if they are going to learn good judgment. You can't beat them up for mistakes, or fear will run their lives, and they will never learn to improvise.
It is better to show uncertainty when you are uncertainty. It is better to model good problem-solving skills. This does not mean you have to know everything or be right all the time. It means you teach your kids to solve problems, but you don't always solve the problems for your kids (Oesterreich, 1). As they grow older, you do less and less problem solving for them, as they become increasingly capable. Instead, you demonstrate authority by providing good, accurate, complete information. You talk the full details about sex or other tricky issues. You do not avoid these issues. You explain the reasons for your thinking about everything. You never say, "because I said so." You want your kids to choose to do what you would choose to do because it makes sense to them, not because you tell them to do so.
The authoritarian is parenting is therefore harsh to students. The children cannot be judged on the basis of the marks they bring in classroom tests. That does not make their life a very good one. Further, In this parenting style, the children get dependent over their parents and their capability of taking decisions on their own gets lost. They do lack self-decision making and innovation skills that cause a great harm in their life.
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